Host Miley Cyrus.
The 2008 Teen Choice Awards, which aired on FOX and was hosted by “Hannah Montana” star and cyber-whore Miley Cyrus, gave me goosebumps. And not the good kind Paula Abdul gets when she listens to David Archuleta sing a syrupy ballad. I was flabbergasted by the winners as chosen by American teens and whomever else bothered voting millions of times online.
I wasn’t shocked by the choice of host, Miley Cyrus, but I was disappointed. The mega-star teen has been all over the blogosphere recently after dissing fellow Disney stars Demi Lovato (of equally horrifying “Camp Rock” fame) and Selena Gomez (supposedly from some show called “Wizards of Waverly Place,” whatever that is) with a mocking online video. Then there was a leakage of photos from her cell phone camera, one of which showed the then-14 year old posing in a wet white T-shirt. Certainly ratings would go up if the show chose the popular tabloid star, so I don’t really blame the TV executives and producers. Still, what kind of message are we sending if such a bad role model is the biggest under-18 star in America? She somehow escapes the scorn of Disney handlers and the American people by issuing apologies and saying she feels embarrassed. The nest day online there will be a news story about how much Miley loves church and God, as if that erases her past deeds from our minds. And it’s not as if Miley Cyrus was the only choice for host. Why not bring out “The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2″ foursome of America Ferrara, Alexis Bledel, Blake Lively, and Amber Tamblyn to host the show? Why not choose more qualified and less shady hosts? I’ve seen more talented teen stars than the slapstick-y actress and raspy and vocally deficient singer.
Thus ends my relentless attack on the teen phenomenon that is Miley Cyrus. Now, another assault on a smash teen hit star, Lauren Conrad of “The Hills.” She graces the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week, and she won for choice reality star or something on the Teen Choice Awards. Why has she been rewarded a clothing line, a guest spot on “Greek,” and millions of dollars to have a camera follow her boring and superficial life centered on going to posh Hollywood clubs and having scripted conversations with her equally empty-headed friends (How dull are they? Why not watch E!’s “The Soup”)? She has no credentials for being a media empress and girls’ role model. She hasn’t even graduated from FIDM yet! So why are MTV’s viewers fascinated by “Laguna Beach” alum Lauren Conrad? Is it because they see themselves in her? If so, that is a little concerning. Maybe they need to stop watching other peoples’ lives and get their own.
And thus ends my rant. It might only be part one, I really don’t know. I’m a teenager, but apparently a very jaded, mature, and media savvy one. I just don’t get the world teens are living in.
